Growing the Family Meeting

Coming together as a harmonious family is possible. By using curiosity asking questions, talking, listening and deconstructing problems together, we strengthen our family. The family meeting can be the conduit that brings family together and grows family core values.

Is the concept of the family meeting new to you? Many parents have never heard of this positive family experience. So what exactly is a family meeting? It’s an opportunity to connect, engage, problem solve, model respectful communication, and work out differences, together.

Family life is layered with complexities. After all, parenting has so many challenges. Sibling issues, cellphone habits, screen overuse, meals and refusals, addressing fears and snarky attitudes, difficult behaviors, lying. Whatever the situation is, the family meeting can come in and be the source that helps create clarity and solve problems collectively.

In our home when our children were growing up, and in my classroom as a “classroom family,” the family meeting was a regular occurrence. Sometimes it was scheduled after dinner just before bed, or it occurred right then and there on the spot with an emergency meeting called together. Whether your child is four or 14 years old, this time to connect, to talk it out and figure it out together, is instrumental in creating unity. Everyone has a chance to be heard.

When we start this practice young, this family ritual becomes a core value, a part of our family culture. Starting at the age of four, we can start to weave family together to address the topic on hand. With patience, willingness to facilitate and listen, a child as young as four years old can fully participate.

Let’s get started:

This meeting can be made more sophisticated for older kids in the family, and made simpler and shorter for younger children. Children appreciate beginning with compliments and then move into the situation or complaints. Don’t we all? First we address what’s going well; finding the positives and acknowledging them, and then discussing the problem and what we’d like to see made better. In my Pre-K classroom, we spent time describing the problem, bringing in their voices and how it affects them, and how the situation needs correction.

The Importance of Family Meetings

Family meetings are not just about setting rules; they are about creating a shared understanding and fostering open communication. These gatherings serve as a foundation for effective parent coaching, where the aim is to guide and support children in making wise choices rather than imposing strict controls. By involving children in the conversation about screen time limits, parents can instill a sense of responsibility, encouraging kids to think critically about their digital habits.

How do we begin having family meetings?

It takes practice, willingness to try, and patience. Just because we’re ready to talk, doesn’t mean our children know how to open up, listen, problem solve and participate.

We create an atmosphere of open, respectful communication, being curious, asking questions, taking turns, and letting our child come up with solutions that we all agree upon.

We hold the boundary on the issue that brought us together, and follow through with limit setting.

We set up a fair, clear expectation, with a flexibility and balance that works for everyone.

We model positive behavior and set the example for healthier, balanced screen behavior, and stronger family connection.

The family meeting can significantly contribute to how a family communicates together and brings us together, in shared love and respect.

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