Children Can Be Overscheduled Too

As we start getting ready for school to begin here on the east coast, let’s talk about after school and extracurricular activities.

We’re working parents and school ends at 3:00. We still have several working hours left to our day. If left to their own devices, our children have significant amounts of time at home after school, mostly spent on video games and screens. Sitters are expensive and so are activities. Loads of kids at all ages are on several sports teams at the same time taking swim, dance, yoga, music lessons, religious instruction for some, art classes and theater, and so much more. Each one of these are great! As parents we want the best for our children and want them to try everything, find what they love, play the piano well and score goals at every game. These activities demand full participation and might require transportation, which can be challenging for working parents. Many schools offer after school enrichment as extended day is necessary for so many of us.

So when is a good thing no longer a good thing?

Have you been prying and bribing your crying child out of the car to play on their sports team?

Is your four year old no longer loving dance other than wearing the leotard?

Does your child cry in the morning when they realize it’s soccer day or cry when you pick them up to go to their class/sport?

After school extra curricular activities can have both positive and negative impacts, depending on the child's personality, needs, and the specific activities involved. It's important to strike a balance that allows the child to explore their interests and develop important skills, while also ensuring they have enough time for rest, relaxation, unstructured play, free play, doing what they want and love to do. Here are some considerations:

Positive Impacts of after school activities:

1. Skill Development: Enrolling a child in activities can help them develop a wide range of skills, can grow new interests and strengthen their physical and artistic skills and talents.

2. Time Management: Juggling multiple activities can teach a child how to manage their time effectively, a skill that will benefit them in the future.

3. Exploration: Exposure to different activities can help a child discover their passions and interests, allowing them to make informed choices about their hobbies and potential future careers.

4. Social Interaction: Participating in group activities can enhance a child's social skills and provide opportunities to make new friends.

5. Confidence: Achieving milestones and mastering new skills in various activities can boost a child's self-esteem and confidence.

Negative Impacts of over scheduling your child:

1. Lack of Free Time: Children need unstructured playtime to foster creativity, imagination, and self-directed learning. Over scheduling can deprive them of this important aspect of childhood. Sometimes a good old fashioned screen free playdate, is all a child needs after a day of school.

2. Academic Pressure: Too many activities can lead to stress and pressure, affecting a child's academic performance and causing them to feel overwhelmed.

3. Forcing our child to participate: You believe this activity is positive and will be good for them in the long run.

4. Limited Family Time: Over scheduling can leave little time for family bonding and quality time, which are crucial for a child's emotional development.

5. Reduced Autonomy: A child might not have the opportunity to make their own choices and decisions if their schedule is dictated by a multitude of activities.

Tips for Finding Balance:

1. Prioritize Activities: Choose activities that align with your child's interests and strengths, rather than signing them up for everything available.

2. Keep your child’s age in mind. A four year old might have enough socialization and structure within the school day and might do better with time at home to rest, play with their toys, or have a playdate with a friend.

3. Flexible Schedule: Allow for some flexibility in the schedule to accommodate downtime and unexpected events.

4. Communication: Have open discussions with your child about their feelings and preferences regarding activities. Avoid forcing them into activities they don't enjoy.

5. Time Management: Teach your child time management skills and help them establish a routine that includes time for homework, activities, rest, and play.

6. Regular Check-ins: Periodically evaluate how your child is coping with their schedule and be willing to make adjustments if needed.

7. Protect Free Time: Ensure that your child has enough free time for relaxation, hobbies, and spending quality moments with family and friends.

The key is finding a healthy balance between structured activities and unstructured playtime. Every child is unique, so it's important to pay attention to your child's needs, preferences and well-being, to make informed and collaborative decisions about their schedule and to find creative ways to meet your scheduling needs as well.