Growing Our Boys Authenticity
When Boys Embrace Arts Over Sports: A Positive Parenting Perspective
In today’s world, the notion of what it means to be sex stereotyped is evolving, allowing families to embrace individuality and uniqueness over preconceived notions. As parents, it’s essential to foster environments where our child feels free to explore their authentic selves. Whether they lean towards the arts, enjoy creative endeavors, or express disinterest in traditional sports, positive and conscious parenting practices can guide us to provide the acceptance and support they need to thrive and be their best self. We can help foster their positive self identity.
Understanding Boys Beyond Stereotypes
For generations, societal expectations have often equated masculinity with athletic prowess, competition, and physical strength. Yet boys who gravitate toward the arts, whether it be music, theater, or other creative outlets challenge this narrow, limiting, view. These artistic expressions and interests are vital for a well-rounded, growing, ever changing child. In parenting, acknowledging and celebrating these interests helps dismantle limiting beliefs about gender roles, and embraces individuality, strengths, talents, interests and self identity. I know, we’re brought up to believe boys play baseball, football, soccer and fish. We’re brought up to believe that boys are little men. Boys also sew, knit, cook, dance, sing, act, paint, create, decorate and design.
Positive, conscious parenting encourages us to see our children as individuals; to see and appreciate our whole child. When we focus on their unique interests and talents, we foster a sense of belonging and help grow their sense of self and confidence in who they are. Conscious parenting reminds us to approach differences with empathy and understanding, ensuring our sons feel safe in expressing their passions, feel safe in expressing their identity both sexual and emotional, even if they deviate from societal norms or the norms that we expected. We change our perception and follow our child’s leads in their interests and passions. You wanted your son to love sports and he tried. He loves to dance. How might he feel if you seeked out and offered him the opportunity to choose a dance form he’d like to explore? Tap? Ballet? Hip Hop? Ballroom? Modern?
Creating a Safe Space for Exploration
One of the cornerstones of positive parenting is creating an environment where children can explore their interests without fear of judgment. If your son finds joy in painting, playing an instrument, or acting in a school play, we can show genuine enthusiasm for his pursuits. Attending his performances, displaying his artwork at home, and engaging in conversations about what excites him will bring in connection. These small acts affirm his choices and reinforce that he’s valued and loved for who he is, as is.
Gentle parenting complements this by emphasizing open effective communication and emotional validation. When a child shares that they feel out of place or they don’t enjoy sports or fit the “boyish, athletic ” mold, listen without judgement and without interrupting. Validate feelings by saying things like, “You don’t have to like sports. It’s okay to feel that way,” or “You’re amazing just as you are.” “You like acting and singing more than baseball.” This reassurance helps eliminate external pressures and builds resilience. It let’s our child know we see them, they are safe to talk about it, appreciate them and love them as is.
Sports and Exercise
We know exercise is important for a growing, healthy body, and for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Team sports gives children a sense of community, a sense of belonging, and builds confidence. That is if they connect with the team and have a positive experience. Lack of natural ability, social anxiety, lack of interest or confidence or a negative experience can explain why some boys turn away from sports. Or maybe they have not yet found what they love. Have you and your child considered hiking as a sport, biking, martial arts, yoga or swimming?
Combatting External Influences
While fostering acceptance at home is crucial, children often face external challenges such as teasing or pressure to conform. We can support and encourage our child; equip them with confidence by teaching to embrace their uniqueness. Encourage them to try out for the school play; to audition for the lead, to take a risk and be brave. Role-play scenarios where he can practice standing up for himself, and reinforce the idea that his worth is not defined by others’ opinions or their outdated gender based expectation.
As part of positive parenting, we can model inclusivity in our own actions and words. We show respect for individuals who defy stereotypes and highlight stories of successful men who excel in the arts. This broadens our child’s perspective and normalizes their interests. Think of every male musician you love and listen to over and over, every male chef, male dancer or performer that totally wows you. Every male artist you know of, writer, creator, maker or inventor. They all break stereotypes and dismantle who someone should be, and replaces it with who they truly are. Creative, brilliant, amazing, revolutionary, goes against the grain, authentic and unique.
Boys who pursue creative passions often have heightened emotional sensitivity—a trait that should be nurtured, not stifled. Conscious, positive parenting emphasizes the importance of helping children understand and articulate their emotions and feel safe to express them.
Embracing the Bigger Picture
Accepting and supporting boys who love the arts over sports is not just about their interests; it’s about affirming their identity and reinforcing their self-worth. By adopting positive, conscious parenting principles, we can create a world where all children feel valued for who they are. Celebrate your son’s passions, nurture his emotional growth, and watch as he flourishes into a confident, authentic individual—one brushstroke, note, dish, sewing pattern or act at a time.
