Looking For the Good Helps Us Parent Better
It's noticing and appreciating the small things that helps us appreciate the good that's already there
Positive and Conscious Parenting: Noticing the Good in Our Child and in Ourselves as Parent
In today's fast-paced, harried world, many parents find themselves navigating the daily challenges of raising children under stress and great uncertainty. There are so many podcasts, influencers, books, and voices to consider. Yet by embracing the principles of positive and conscious parenting, we can foster a nurturing environment that benefits both our children and ourselves! A key aspect of this approach is learning to notice and celebrate the good—in our children and in ourselves as parents.
What is Positive and Conscious Parenting?
Positive parenting emphasizes nurturance, guidance, and support rather than discipline through punishment or negativity. It involves creating an environment that encourages our child to develop self-discipline, responsibility, and self-confidence. Conscious parenting contributes to this by encouraging parents to be fully present and aware in their interactions with their child and in their own behavior; focusing on understanding their child's needs and emotions, while being mindful of their own responses.
Both positive and conscious parenting offer a powerful shift in perspective: rather than focusing on what our child is doing wrong, we begin to notice the good—the small victories, what they did well, the efforts, the positives and the growth. Similarly, this mindset helps us acknowledge our own positive contributions as parents, allowing us to move away from self-criticism and toward self-compassion.
When We Notice The Good, The Good Gets Better
Children, just like adults, thrive on positive reinforcement, positive feedback and acknowledgment. When we notice and affirm their positive behaviors, we strengthen their sense of self-worth and encourage more of those behaviors. There are strategies we can use to help notice the good in your child:
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results: Rather than only praising outcomes like good grades or accomplishments, take note of your child’s effort. Statements like “I see how hard you worked on that painting” or “I appreciate how you didn’t give up even when it was difficult” reinforces the importance of perseverance and effort. It’s the process, not just the product.
Be Specific with Praise: General statements like “Good job” can be uplifting, but more specific praise has a greater impact. For example, saying “You made Polly so happy when you helped her find her lovey,” encourages repeat behavior and helps your child feel seen and valued.
Celebrate Small Wins: Children are constantly learning, and small wins, like remembering to brush their teeth without prompting or showing kindness could be acknowledged. These moments are powerful opportunities to reinforce the behavior we want to see more of.
Noticing the Good in Ourselves
Positive and conscious parenting isn’t just about how we interact with our children—it’s also about how we relate to ourselves as parents. Many parents fall into the pit of self-criticism, constantly questioning their decisions or feeling like they’re not doing enough or are parenting correctly. It’s essential to acknowledge the good in ourselves too!
Practice Self-Compassion: Parenting is hard, and there will be moments when we make mistakes and feel overwhelmed. All of us. We can remind ourselves that it’s okay to not be perfect. Celebrate the moments when you handled a tough situation with grace and showed patience, or when you took time to be fully present with your child. Be kind to yourself.
Recognize Your Growth: Just as children are constantly learning, so are we as parents. Reflect on how you’ve grown—whether it’s becoming more patient, more understanding and empathetic, or learning to communicate better with your child and co-parent.
Use Positive Self Talk: Conscious parenting is about being mindful of your actions and intentions. Acknowledge the fact that you are trying your best to raise your child with love and care, even when things don’t go as planned. Use positive self talk. “I’m a good parent having a tough moment. I can be calm for my child, and for myself.”
Let’s remember…
By embracing the principles of positive and conscious parenting, we can decrease parental frustration and anger, and create a parenting journey filled with joy, connection, and personal growth. When we take time to notice the good in our children and in ourselves, we not only foster a healthy environment for our kids, but also cultivate a sense of self-acceptance and fulfillment in our role as parents. So, take a moment today to see the good—and let it guide you toward a more positive, conscious parenting experience.
