Parenting and Creating Screen Time Balance
Ipad, Tablet, Nintendo Switch, Smart Phones, Smart Watches, Oculus. The list goes on.
In this digital age that we all participate in and struggle with as parents, controlling our own screen time habits and that of our child’s has become a critical aspect of parenting. With young children and teenagers spending an increasing amount of time on electronic devices, depression amongst children is at a frightening rate. Parents are constantly seeking effective strategies to encourage a healthier digital diet. One strategy that I believe in and encourage, is implementing family meetings focusing on screen time habits and limits. These meetings offer a platform for conversation, understanding, and mutual decision-making, embodying the principles of collaboration and conscious parenting.
The Importance of
Talking About It
Family meetings are not just about setting rules; they are about creating a shared understanding and fostering open, flowing communication. We can teach our children to talk about situations and dilemma’s.
These meetings serve as a foundation for effective parenting, where the goal is to guide and support children in making wise choices rather than imposing strict controls over them. By involving children in the conversation about screen time limits, parents can instill a sense of responsibility, encouraging children to think critically about their digital habits and learn self control. Isn’t that something we all need in one area or another in our lives?
Let’s face it. Screen time management is a necessity.
We all give a screen to our child when we want peace and quiet, a calm moment or a distraction. We can easily do that, and can continue to do so, as long as we’re willing to admit that we enable their addiction and overuse when we over allow it. Yes, we can threaten to remove devices and maybe sometimes we do. We can demand and yell at them to “Get off now!” as we get frustrated and become so angry, and sternly yank it away. We can also manage how we use our own devices and show what self control looks like. We can also put in clear limits and boundaries in creating screen time limits for ourselves and our child.
Hold A Family Meeting, Discussing Screen Time Limits
Make family meetings a regular part of your family tradition or routine. This consistency helps children feel secure , feel heard and valued as part of the decision-making process. When it comes to negotiating screen time limits, consider these action steps to take:
Set Clear Expectations: Clearly define what screen time limits will look like in your family. No charging stations in the child’s bedroom is often a good place to start. Learn the guidelines for screen time at your child’s age and stick to that boundary. Be specific about what is allowed and when, but be open to input from your child.
Under 2 years old, no screen time other than video chatting with family and grandparents. They need not play games at this age. There are other distractions we can use. Be prepared with small toys.
2-5 years old: less than one hour per day, along with a parent. Hold this limit and boundary. 30 minutes is often enough.
6-17 years old, two hours a day, making time for physical activities. Hold this boundary with flexibility as needed, while keeping to this expectation. Give reminders, set an alarm, be on top of this.
Create a Welcoming Atmosphere: Ensure that the family meeting environment is positive and non-confrontational. Everyone should feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings. This is not a punishment nor is it a threat. It’s a conversation with problem solving incorporated.
Involve Everyone: Make sure all family members have a chance to speak. This inclusivity reinforces the idea that everyone’s opinion is important and counts.
Be Confident and Consistent: Hold your limit and boundary. You’re not asking your child for their approval, nor are you caving in to their demand and giving a mixed message. Clearly state the problem. “When I call you for dinner and you’re on your ipad, you ignore me and don’t stop playing your game, and you get angry at me and then I get angry at you.”
Be Flexible and Fair: Show that you are willing to listen and adjust the rules as needed. This flexibility can help in finding a balance that works for everyone.
Lead by Example: This is how children learn. Demonstrate healthy screen habits to reinforce the message and show that this pertains to you as well. We all spend too much time on our phones and our child sees and knows this to be true. They are watching us. Always.
Discuss the Consequences: Talk about and agree upon the consequences for not following the screen time agreement commitment. Consistency in enforcing these consequences is key. Your child can come up with what the consequence will be when they don’t follow an agreement that they helped design and implement.
Finally…
Incorporating family meetings into your parenting, especially regarding screen time, can significantly enhance communication and understanding within your family. These meetings, grounded in the principles of conscious, positive, collaborative parenting, offers a joined way to address the challenges of this intense digital age. By engaging in open dialogue, open communication, setting clear expectations, and modeling positive behavior, parents can help their children navigate their digital worlds more effectively, paving the way for healthier screen habits and stronger family connections.
