Navigating Work and Family Balance
Finding Balance: Navigating Work and Family Life with Calm Parenting
Balancing work and family life can feel like pushing a boulder uphill, especially for parents juggling robust careers and raising children. Woah. How do we do it? How do we juggle so many balls and stay sane? It feels nearly impossible. Achieving this balance is crucial for maintaining a healthy, happy family, and sane, thriving parents. By using calm parenting, holding consistent boundaries, and a positive parenting style, we can transform chaos into harmonious, for the whole family.
Calm Parenting: The Foundation of Balance
Calm parenting is the cornerstone of a peaceful home. It involves approaching parenting challenges with a composed and mindful attitude. When parents remain calm, they can think more clearly and respond to their child appropriately, without escalating tensions. This not only reduces stress for parents, but also models emotional regulation for children. We meet our child’s needs so they can then better meet ours.
One way to practice calm parenting is by incorporating mindfulness into our daily routine. Taking a few deep breaths before responding to a challenging situation or practicing a short meditation can help maintain a calm presence. A calm parent is a stronger, more effective parent. Time for self-care with exercise, hobbies, friends, ensures we recharge our batteries so we can better handle the never ending demands of work and family life more effectively.
Create a Consistent, Stable Environment:
Consistent boundaries are essential for a balanced family life. Consistency provides children with a sense of security and predictability, which is crucial for their emotional development. When children know what to expect, they are less likely to test limits and more likely to cooperate.
Establishing consistent boundaries involves clear communication and follow-through. Consistently. If bedtime is at 8 PM, it should remain consistent every night. This predictability helps children understand expectations and reduces power struggles.
Consistency extends to both parents. When one parent falters and does the opposite, this gives our child a mixed message and their behavior is affected. When children receive the same messages from both parents, it reinforces the boundaries and prevents confusion. With older children, regular family meetings can help parents stay aligned and discuss any necessary adjustments to the boundaries. We talk about it, hear them out and set the boundary.
Be Fully Present And Connect in 4 Steps:
Our work day is exhausting and understandably we want our night to ourselves and to be with our spouse or partner. Our child sees and feels it differently. Our child misses and needs us. Yes, even teens who close their bedroom door, need our full presence and attention.
When you get home, before you walk in the door, get yourself ready for the excitement and busyness. Take three deep breaths and know that evenings can be robust and hard. Be excited and delighted to see your child. They are happy and excited to see you!
2. Put your phone away and be fully available. Eat dinner or have dessert together, no screens at the table for all, and talk. Ask questions and be curious ( not nosy, but curious.) Help with homework as needed and be present and patient. Kids that are neurodivergent or have ADHD, need us to show up with extreme patience, calmness in tact and willingness to listen.
3. We expect our child to be more independent than they are or can be at this time. Lean in with support and be there as your child dresses themselves. Be there as your child does their homework. Be there as your child brushes their teeth. Be there.
4. Connect, connect, connect! Be attuned to your child and spend time together one on one doing what they love to do. Build legos, a puzzle, play a game, do a craft.
Positive Parenting: Encouraging Growth and Development
Positive parenting focuses on being authoritative, nurturing and encouraging children’s growth rather than just disciplining negative behaviors. Empathy, compassion, curiosity, connection and active listening, fosters a supportive and loving environment. Positive parenting is not about being permissive. It’s about being flexible while holding limits and boundaries.
How do we foster this positive growth? Catch your child exhibiting the behavior you wish to see more of. When we acknowledge and praise positive behaviors, it reinforces and motivates children to repeat them. It gives them a positive message. If your child completes their homework without reminders, clears the table or says thank you, we can praise their responsibility and how well they did. “Thanks for helping me carry the grocery bags. You really helped me out.” “WOW, you did your homework all by yourself. Awesome. Need me to go over any part with you?”
Empathy plays a significant role in positive parenting. When children feel understood and valued, they are more likely to open up and cooperate. Take the time to listen to your child’s concerns and feelings, validating their emotions even if you don’t agree with their perspective. This builds trust and strengthens the parent-child relationship.
Integrating Work and Family Life
Balancing work and family life requires intentional planning and flexibility. Setting realistic expectations and prioritizing tasks can help manage the demands of both roles. Create a family schedule that accommodates work commitments and family time, ensuring that both receive the attention they deserve.
Use the support systems you have such as family, friends or childcare services, to alleviate some of the burdens. Delegating tasks and seeking help when needed, can prevent burnout and ensure a more balanced lifestyle.
Put work life in balance with home life:
When you come home from work, put your phone away, and be fully present. Your child NEEDS this. Say no to work duties until after bedtime. Be available, connect, connect, connect and be at one with your child. Create a dynamic that is joyful, with limits and boundaries. Your work is now to be present for your child until bedtime is complete. The more we resist this, the more our child drags out bedtime. Your presence, your mood, your joy, trickles down to your child.
Achieving work-family life balance is an ongoing process that requires patience, dedication, and adaptability. By incorporating calm parenting, consistent boundaries, and positive parenting strategies, parents can create a nurturing and stable environment that supports the well-being of the entire family, beginning with you.
